Martin Mendiola | NDHS '14
16yo | Filipino | Irish
God, Family, Friends, Music, and the Universe
I’ve already shown you who I am, what I want to do with my life. For nearly 17 years, you’ve seen what makes me now me. I wish you’d support me. It’d be a lot easier and I’d be a lot more confident in moving forward to college knowing I had the support of family. I always try my best to avoid talking about my future with you or in front of you, and hesitate before telling anyone what I want to be, in front of you. It’s become so hard to be around the house thinking that when I leave in a year, I don’t know if I’ll have your support. I don’t do everything I do “always [wanting] to be different,” though what’s wrong with being different? I’m a curious guy. Sure it’s not all “practical,” but that’s not all there is. I don’t care about the money. I want to be me. I already know where I want to go, and I’m tired of you trying to change me or not supporting who I am. On one hand it might be in sense, “just a career path,” but more than that, since it is my passion and my uniqueness and interest goes into it, it is who I am. Most of all, though, I’m afraid of how you’ll think of me when I don’t take the path you want me to, esp. since you’ll be paying for my education. I’m afraid of where you and I will stand from there.
The world’s been looking dimmer the past few weeks.. :\
Everything about today bothered me.
I’m sure it’s hard to know someone who’s taken their own life.
I haven’t had that experience though.
It’s hard for me to not have gotten the chance to know someone who took her own life.
I still wish I knew you, Stephanie.